« buy me | Main | Open letter »
THE TWIGHLIGHT ZONE
Tuesday 21 February 2006
Today was a very surreal day. Today I went back to school. However, I was on the other side...
Yes I was a grown up. Today I started my first ever temp job. I decided to kick the so called dream job in the can because I was made to make tea for managers rather than actually get anything exciting to work on and as I value myself far more these days I decided to get something temporary so I can go to interviews for much better jobs easily.
So my first temp job is in a school and not just any school. It is in fact a school for the children who will be in jail/pregnant/dead/electronically tagged by at least 16. Oh and I get to work in the student record office. More specifically I get to be in charge of On Call.
But Celeste, what is On Call? I hear you whail. Well children, gather round and I'll tell you.
On Call is a system set up in how shall I put this? Schools with a chavopulation of around 90% basically 9 out of 10 pupils are little, rebellious, lippy, am I bovvered shits.
Every period has a different teacher on call who walks around the school and is contactable by me via radio. I then receive calls from teachers who have a disruptive pupil and I then contact the on call who will take said pupil to the isolation room. I then get to issue a letter to their parents informing them that their son/daughter will have a detention the follwing week.
The kids are just hilarious because they are just so disrespectful. They just don't give a toss about anything. The things they say and do are just unreal. The funniest thing is, is that we have two major comedy shows that absolutely rip the piss out of young chavs and I can't help laughing inside picturing certain characters. This will mean nothing to anyone outside of the UK but Vikki Pollard and Catherine Tate's 'Am I bovvered' characters are real! They actually do speak like that!
The whole surreal thing came about because all day long I have been called miss.
'Miss can I sign in please?'
'Miss I need to ring my parents innit?'
'You're new aren't you miss?'
The scary thing with facing a mass of kids is that you fall into one of the following categories:
Knobber (not respected at all - will do all they can to make you break)
Sound grown up (the liked teacher - normally have the best lessons)
Cool, hot grown up (eye candy - I blame Hollyoaks)
Strict as fuck (self explanatory)
As soon as you say hello you have been placed into one of those labels. Luckily for me, I appear to be number 3. All I have for proof is one of the snot rags coming up to my window and saying 'Miiiiisssssss! My mate finks your well fit!'
Phew. No mental breakdowns for me anytime soon.
I think I will wear a skirt tomorrow.
I also have an inkling that one of the Maths teachers may fancy me. He volunteered to do an extra On Call and that's just simply unheard of.
Uh Uh Ahhhh - That bell is for me - not you.
I've always wanted to say that!
COMMENTS
Tilesey that comment created an image of you in a school uniform I wish I never had.
Celeste well done for having the courage to leave the job if it wasn't right for you.
xx
Posted by: H at February 22, 2006 04:43 AMYay, I'm glad you kicked the old job cause you are so much better than those lousy bums. I hope the temp stuff goes super well til you get a brand new dream job!
Posted by: silk at February 22, 2006 05:28 AM"Cool, hot grown up (eye candy - I blame Hollyoaks)"
You know, that also makes you a rubbish actor too :)
Posted by: Rhys at February 22, 2006 10:57 AMOh come on. Admit that the acting levels have gone up a teensy notch since the minging, fat ginger one left.
Posted by: Celeste at February 22, 2006 02:50 PM
Hmmm ,I like these transferable skills you're now learning. Transferable to the bedroom that is :-)
Oh please miss....!
Posted by: Tilesey at February 22, 2006 03:38 AM