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Sunday 1 April 2007

Dear Celeste,

Stop going out with crazy people. Find a nice normal boy. He must not tell you about how wonderous fruit is. He must not pick up litter all the time. He must not talk to squirrels. He must not be ridiculously over sensitive. He must not be into himself more than you. He must have a backbone and not be afraid to talk to you. He must have a full head of lustrious hair. He must not stalk you.

In the last 6 years you have been out with men who all go against one or more of the above. Stop this now.

Become a nun or a lesbian. Or a lesbian porn star - you'd make good money.

Love

Self.

Posted by Celeste at April 1, 2007 02:23 PM | TrackBack


COMMENTS

oh dear...

Posted by: amelie at April 1, 2007 02:25 PM

Ha ha ha - it's fine really. I just have very high standards and I actually prefer to be single - it's going to take someone pretty amazing to win me round longer than a week I reckon. Ah well I suppose I'll just have to continue meeting fit lads on nights out and snogging their faces off, meaningless sex, a boy in every port....hang on that doesn't sound bad at all!!!

Posted by: Celeste at April 1, 2007 02:29 PM

Hehe Which of the above was he?

After seeing the deleted posts im guessing stalker?

Posted by: Oli at April 2, 2007 02:42 AM

He was - He must not tell you about how wonderous fruit is. He must not pick up litter all the time. He must not talk to squirrels. He must not be ridiculously over sensitive.

I had a very surreal day on Saturday!

Posted by: Celeste at April 2, 2007 02:45 AM

Are we talking sensative guy in Bedazzled here?

For meaningful sex you always have me honey xx

Posted by: silk at April 2, 2007 03:52 AM

Silk- Ha ha ha ha ha - yes that is exactly it! And by the by further to your post does this mean you have more weekends free for me to come up and be pampered!? ;-)

Posted by: Celeste at April 2, 2007 04:03 AM

Sorry to hear that hun...

Thanks for your call the other night, sorry I couldn't take it.

I'm good thanks, things are moving on...

Posted by: Mark at April 2, 2007 08:48 AM

At the minute things are all up in the air, but give me a few weeks to sort it all out and I'll be able to give you the full story.

And then there will be visits, oh yes, lots and lots of scrummy visits!

Posted by: silk at April 3, 2007 03:35 AM

Lesbian nun porn stars are always in demand. Or so I've been told..

Posted by: Nugget at April 3, 2007 04:18 AM

What the...

I was going to tell you he was no good for you, you know.

I mean, we all like a banana don't we, but squirrels are the devil's work are they not?

Posted by: Jann at April 4, 2007 03:38 AM

Jann - awwww thanks! *glows inside*. Squirrels are cute yes but they are mobile rabies despensers so I don't like to get too close.

Posted by: Celeste at April 4, 2007 03:48 AM

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